Writing through the Fear of Mediocrity

I have this fear. I fear I’ll end up just mediocre so I tend to not try, so that way I can never say I failed. I can never celebrate my accomplishments either. It’s a crappy state to be in. It’s why I never wrote all that seriously. If I never finish anything, I can never worry that it’s not good enough. But who wants to live that way? I found Nanowrimo at my lowest point (well, my lowest writing point we’ll say) and I thought I’d give novel writing a shot after writing screenplays…or parts of screenplays for so long.

What a breath of fresh air this cliché is not and Nanowrimo was! I didn’t finish the story I was doing but I hit my 50k and that was empowering. I made writing friends with the community that Nano has built and was spurred on to keep writing more. It still took a little time before I was writing more regularly, but it was a start.

I now have my first complete novel that I’m editing (yes, I’ve blogged this all before. Shush). The point of this is that you can’t let the worry get you down. My words will never be perfect no matter how many times I change them. I can edit until my fingers bleed and I pass out from the lack of nutrients coffee doesn’t bring and it will still have mistakes or could be changed, could be better. We are not perfect which means our beautiful babies will never be perfect either. The great thing is: everyone else is flawed too! I’ve read plenty of traditionally published books and found mistakes or an overuse of words. It seems readers don’t mind little mistakes if you have a good story to tell. That and a fun and different voice. Now, don’t start panicking that your voice isn’t different or that your story is like everyone else’s. Again, I have read published works that aren’t perfect. Just write the best story you can. If you write it, they will come. Your voice will always be different because YOU’RE the one writing. No one else can write quite like you, but that’s a motivational blog for another day.

Now, one of you needs to remind me of this often as I tend to be a little forgetful….

I like everything so I write almost anything.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I know not only am I still finding my voice in my writing, but also what topics/genres I like to cover. With movie watching, I’m a jack-of-all-trades. My reading is a little like that too. It should stand to reason that my ideas are all over the place. I seem to stick to action in my books so far, but there is a contemporary romance that is itching to go (even if I have no clue how to keep a book moving forward without action). It makes me wonder, am I an oddball writing different genres and categories?

My first completed novel is what I call YA low fantasy. There is a little paranormal activity (mind powers, not ghosts) so I guess it could also be low paranormal. Whichever you want to call it, there is a little romance and a lot more monkey bites, near death experiences, and a quest to find the friend.  Second novel that is about 56k in at the moment has monsters, deaths, human hunting rednecks, and aliens. No clue what I’m labeling that one yet. Again, action with a hint of a romance.
But what of my other ideas? What of the other little gems I truly hope to someday write? A few of them have similar lines to the two above. A few of them don’t. The next one that really really wants to bug me as of late is a contemporary love story with a teeny tiny part alien. How many other writers veer all over the map with their writing choices? I see so many stay within a certain box for their stories. They write paranormal romance or fantasy and that is it. It’s what their fans know them for. It’s what fans look for in their writing. It scares me a little knowing I’m all over the place. Will this alienate potential readers? Am I shooting myself in the foot not sticking with one category or genre (did I mention monster, human hunters has a 19 year-old MC? Not exactly YA in content either)?

Maybe I’ll eventually stick to one thing and maybe I won’t. I know not every author has one given genre and that is all they write. Look at J. K. Rowling recently. Then again, she wasn’t sure how people would take to the mystery so she used a pen name. I do have a pen name at the ready, should I need it. Time will tell since I would need to get published first to even have this worry! One step at a time, but I like to think ahead. I’m a planner like that.

Overall, I know it will be the writing that does the talking for me, not the genre. I am aiming to make my writing its best and try to worry on the other stuff later. Still, I’m a worrier. It’s what I do. I ponder random crap at silly times. Goal 1: Finish editing Circus. Goal 2: Finish drafting Monsters, Rednecks, and Zombies, Oh My! (working title). Goal 3: Query Circus to agents. Goal 4: Um, write more stuff.  Past this list, I’m trying not to think too far ahead.

What about you? Do you write in one strict genre? Two? More? I’m curious how many other writers out there dabble. Who knows, maybe there’s more of us than the traditionalists!